Best friend

“You know, Ellen, Sally is really my best friend!

Yesterday after a party she brought me home to the fifth floor and left with my husband!”

“But don’t you live on the first floor?”

“Yes, I do.”

“I also thought that you were not married.”

“Yes, I am not. But I loved the view there!”

Painting by JF

Painting by JF

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Best friend

 

Doctor recommends

Ha Ha Ha?

Patient: “Doctor, I snore at night so loudly that I wake up from my own snoring. What should I do?”

Doctor: “Sleep in another room!”

Painting by JF

Painting by JF

 

God’s gifts

I got an email from Chicago with Russian jokes in it.

During our morning’s walk I told my wife one of them and she liked it.

Then I asked Google Translate to help me and edited the translation.

Here is what we got:

“Adam and Eve frolicking in the garden. God descends to them and says: “My children, I have two gifts for you. You’ll have to decide which one to whom. The first gift is peeing standing up “…

Adam begs to let him have the first gift. He says that it is his lifelong dream. Eve yields to him. And Adam runs through the garden, rejoicing, jumping, screaming, and peeing on trees, flowers, insects and simply on the ground.

Then Eve asks: “Lord, what is your second gift?”

God answers: “Brains, Eve. Brains.”

Okay, I've done that stupid trick of sticking my paw up in the air. Now where's that tasty treat you promised me?

Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

PS. I hope that translation is good enough to express the idea. Please let me know if there is a similar original joke in English.