Free beer

Once upon a time in the Soviet Union Ivan bought a huge barrel of beer. Early in the gorgeous morning he put on a wall a large sign “FREE BEER” near the barrel.
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Several people saw the sign and did not believe it. Then one brave young man came to Ivan and asked if it was a joke.
“No, it’s not a topic for a joke! Enjoy free beer!”
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People were surprised and very happy.
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Some of them said; “Let’s form a line and see that nobody breaks in.” They formed a line. One by one Ivan gave people in the line a large glass of beer. People thanked him and left.
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In 15 minutes the line became very long. 10 more minutes passed and nobody could control it anymore. 
People started to fight. Several were stabbed. Police arrived, dispersed the crowd and arrested several people including Ivan.
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 Then they interrogated Ivan:

— Why did you provoke the fight?
— I did not expect it to happen!

— Did you trade without a license?
— No. I gave beer free. There are many witnesses.

— Are you crazy?
— No, no! I am a good worker, a member of an union, have a wonderful family.

— Ok, Ivan. We let you go. Only tell us why did you spent your savings to give people free beer?
— You know, I am not a young man. I wanted to see how everything will be after the victory of communism!

#3

Painting by JF

 

Some funny quotes.

It’s very nice to know that I am equal, can be a statue or a pigeon and can hope to postpone unpleasant events. You might find even more interesting things in these quotes.

PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

It is obvious that people in different countries have different opinion about what is a joke or a funny quote. Some people have a sense of humor, others do not have it.

Today I found many so-called funny quotes. I decided to present some of them to you and see if you like them.   

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.  

Mark Twain

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
Emo Philips

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.
Mae West

A woman drove me to drink, and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.
W.C. Fields

Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some…

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Some funny quotes.

It is obvious that people in different countries have different opinion about what is a joke or a funny quote. Some people have a sense of humor, others do not have it.

Today I found many so-called funny quotes. I decided to present some of them to you and see if you like them.   

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.  

Mark Twain

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
Emo Philips

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.
Mae West

A woman drove me to drink, and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.
W.C. Fields

Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
David Brent

All animals are equal but some are more equal than others.
George Orwell

All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening.
Alexander Woollcott

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
Mark Twain

Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.
Winston Churchill

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.
Woody Allen

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Mark Twain

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin