Free beer

Once upon a time in the Soviet Union Ivan bought a huge barrel of beer. Early in the gorgeous morning he put on a wall a large sign “FREE BEER” near the barrel.

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Several people saw the sign and did not believe it. Then one brave young man came to Ivan and asked if it was a joke.

“No, it’s not a topic for a joke! Enjoy free beer!”

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People were surprised and very happy.

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Some of them said; “Let’s form a line and see that nobody breaks in.” They formed a line. One by one Ivan gave people in the line a large glass of beer. People thanked him and left.

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In 15 minutes the line became very long. 10 more minutes passed and nobody could control it anymore. 

People started to fight. Several were stabbed. Police arrived, dispersed the crowd and arrested several people including Ivan.

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 Then they interrogated Ivan:

— Why did you provoke the fight?
— I did not expect it to happen!

— Did you trade without a license?
— No. I gave beer free. There are many witnesses.

— Are you crazy?
— No, no! I am a good worker, a member of an union, have a wonderful family.

— Ok, Ivan. We let you go. Only tell us why did you spent your savings to give people free beer?
— You know, I am not a young man. I wanted to see how everything will be after the victory of communism!

Painting by JF

 

Best friend

“You know, Ellen, Sally is really my best friend!

Yesterday after a party she brought me home to the fifth floor and left with my husband!”

“But don’t you live on the first floor?”

“Yes, I do.”

“I also thought that you were not married.”

“Yes, I am not. But I loved the view there!”

Painting by JF

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Best friend

 

Doctor recommends

Ha Ha Ha?

Patient: “Doctor, I snore at night so loudly that I wake up from my own snoring. What should I do?”

Doctor: “Sleep in another room!”

Painting by JF

 

One Russian joke

A young man came home in a new Jeep.

Parents asked him: “How and where did you get it?”

“You know, on the way home I met  a woman and she asked if I wanted to buy this car for 50 rubles. Fortunately, I did not spend money on lunch today. So I bought this car.”

Father: “Please show us where this woman lives”.

They went nearby and met the woman. The father asks: “Did you really sold this expensive car for 50 rubles?”.

She answered: “Yes, I did. You know, my husband went on a business trip and then sent me a letter that he met a wonderful girl and decided to stay with her. He also asked me to sell all his possessions and then to make a deposit to his bank account.

By the way, would you be interested in buying a three bedroom apartment for 100 rubles?”

 

How would I use a vial of truth serum?

“You’ve come into possession of one vial of truth serum. Who would you give it to (with the person’s consent, of course) — and what questions would you ask?”

When I read this prompt I remembered an old joke.

A man asks a woman: “What can I give you to get your love?”

She answers: “Permanent anesthesia!”

In this case the woman is truthful and she answers the man’s question without hesitation.

Now, if I had a vial of truth serum it would make no sense to give it to anyone who is a truthful person.

So a right decision would be to give it to a liar.

However, can anyone believe that a liar consents to drink truth serum?

No way!

So I’ll put the vial in a vault together with a copy of the prompt!

Hopefully, in three hundred years somebody opens a vault, reads a prompt and asks: “Could it really be that there were liars three hundred years ago?!”

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TRUTH SERUM

Interview with a famous scientist.

An hour ago I received an email from my friend. It was in Russian.

I translated it to share it with you. We are both interested if you like the interview.

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Reporter:

I’d like to know how scientists are thinking. Surely, your mind is working in a laboratory, in a library.

But do you continue to think about a problem at home?

How do you come to discovery?

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Scientist:

Well, here is an example. For a long time when my wife and I lied down in bed my wife said to me that she had a headache. So, of course, I was thinking how to deal with this problem. And then one day it hit me, and I discovered …

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Reporter:

A new super drug from headache?

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Scientist:

No. I discovered that our neighbor was a lonely, kind and sympathetic

woman.

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